I’m drawn in by your eyes. We make contact, visually, then we look away. Yours view mine, searching for my thoughts, inquisitively, yet they don’t provoke your mouth to speak. They are so unnerving, giving me a sense of uncertainty that I am not familiar with. How do I gain access to your mind? I wonder. Is the fantasy of you more enticing than reality? Would we disappoint each other if we revealed our true selves, our innermost desires? I can only hope for, yearn for what is seemingly unattainable. Is that my fate? To seek the unapproachable and want the fickle is screwing with my mind. My heart desires unconditional, everlasting love, yet my mind is being tormented by a quest that remains unfulfilled. This is uncharted territory. I am uncomfortable with such strong, deep-seated desire. In the pit of my stomach, I feel that all of this is very genuine and mutual, yet the future of my love life seems so unsure and bleak sometimes. Your self-control is impossible to mimic, yet I find myself following your lead. Look, but don’t speak. Stare from afar, but remain impenetrable up close. Making a connection via deafening silence. This entire situation is an oxymoron of sorts. Eyes screaming words and emitting sounds that mouths don’t reveal. This is a recipe for self-combustion, for sure.
Nita
Elle's Journey 