Who is looking forward to the return of ABC’s hit show, Scandal, on February 27th? I don’t really have a vice, per se, but if I had to claim a guilty pleasure, it would be several shows on primetime television. Scandal is at the top of my “must-watch” list. This is the show that basically taps into some of our innermost desires – hell, I’ll claim those desires. I like to live vicariously through these fictional (and other less fictional) characters, if just for 40+ minutes each week. My daily life is so vanilla that it is refreshing to be a fly on the wall of Shonda Rhimes’ Oval office. Maybe the show attracts the voyeuristic side of me that likes to watch things that I would never allow myself to partake in. I find myself taken aback, yet too intrigued to look away. I could go on and on!
Lo and behold, this chick right here will be 35 years young in two weeks!! Five years ago, I would have never guessed that I would be excited about reaching my mid-thirties. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not thinking, “Yay, me! I’m getting older!” I’m thankful to be alive, in fairly good health, with three beautiful children, and the love and support of my family. That is truly all I could ever hope and pray for. Only God knows all of the desires of my heart and those things that I am patiently (for the most part) waiting for, yet I am abundantly grateful for all that I have and all that I have yet to receive.
I must say that nothing feels more refreshing than cleaning house. I am clearing out all of the emotional baggage that I’ve been carrying for so many years. From childhood trauma to someone I tagged as “the love of my life”, I’m letting it all go. Some people hoard personal possessions in a physical form, but I hoard my emotions. In some kind of self-deprecating way, I have allowed ill feelings to reside in my heart and mind. I have never felt bitter because of past experiences, yet the lingering memories of love lost and stolen innocence have freely claimed a part of me, and I’m ready to kick them out, for good.
For me, writing is food for my soul. It nurtures me, it soothes me. With that being said, I need to start posting more often!
The past eighteen months have brought many twists and turns in this life that I live, but nothing compares to the loss of a loved one. As the eldest granddaughter, I have many memories of time spent with my Nana, Flora Brooks. From teaching me how to crochet, play cards and backgammon, to introducing me to very large jigsaw puzzles and soap operas (gotta love The Young and the Restless), the time we shared is priceless to me. I love you, and I will never forget all of the wisdom that you imparted on me, even forty-eight hours prior to moving on.
You were fly, sassy, and chic. You pulled no punches; you completely owned your flaws and stood strong, as a single mother and loving grandmother. You always had my back, and I will forever be grateful to you.
Nana, you may be gone from this world, but I will see you in paradise. You’ll never be forgotten.