No Love Lost?

What does this saying mean?

Whenever I hear the words, ‘no love lost,’ it is usually used in the context of angry or sad feelings, regardless of the choice of words.  I’ve always felt like this sentence comes from a bitter place, a source of true regret that has been masked by such a lackluster tone.  There is always a sarcastic implication that no love has been lost, since none existed in the first place.  Right.

When I typed this phrase into my handy-dandy search engine, over half a billion results came up.  Half a billion!!  There was a song, a video, and attempts at defining the phrase.  Heck, there was even a Facebook page devoted to this phrase!  Now that’s social media at its finest, isn’t it?

To me, ‘no love lost’ means so much more than a failed attempt at recovering a sense of self after heartbreak.  To deviate from the typical intent, I feel like love doesn’t leave our hearts or our souls.  One will sometimes say that they love someone, but they are not in love with them.  Rather than finding a way to justify actions that don’t support the true definition of what it means to love someone, let’s focus on the act of loving.

For me, loving is a spiritual act.  I believe that God is love.  With that being said, if you believe that, then you believe that love is the ultimate selfless act.  It doesn’t involve jealousy or cruelty.  There is no “hating” going on when you truly love someone.  It just is what it is.  In reference to the debate of whether you can love someone but not be in love with them, I will say this:  there are many instances where love has a place in our lives.  I love all of God’s creatures.  I truly do.  This is a different type of love from the love that I feel for my children.  For me, the love that a mother has for her child is like no other.  There are no words to describe it, and it is much too broad to box it into a category.  It is all-encompassing.  I equate this to the love that God has for us.

In my experience, when the words no love lost are used, they are in reference to a broken relationship, intimate or platonic.  These words are used as an alternative to ‘good riddance’.

I have recently thought of this phrase in reference to a relationship that is near and dear to me.  In my personal situation, not only is no love lost, but more love has been realized, if that’s even possible.  I feel like love is or it isn’t there, and you can’t love a little or a lot.  You either do or you don’t.  I believe love can mature, though.  Does one possess more love than before?  Maybe not, but one can start to love more completely and more effortlessly.  This is all due to circumstance and time.  What a difference 7 years can make!  It is interesting to think of how old love can be pulled out of the treasure box deep within your heart and become new love or the love that never went anywhere at all.  Can love ever be lost?  Not in my world.

Nita

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